I had a deep void inside of me. I felt invisible and hopeless. I did not believe that I deserved to be happy. It felt like I was stuck in a hopeless and futile loop, like no one really saw me.
The death of a loved one during childhood is often linked to serious and enduring health issues, such as deep depression, suicidal tendencies and other mental health struggles.
God did not exist for Dineo. She thought the Bible was nothing more than a collection of stories. She started attending services in the Universal Church at a young age and thought that by going to church, everything in her life would be perfect.
My six siblings and I grew up in a wholesome family environment and were raised by our mother. Besides the usual sibling rivalry, I often felt left out and believed that my other siblings were loved more than me. I did not pay too much attention to it at the time, but I grew up with insecurities and a sense of being unloved
I was just four years old when my father passed away. I remember feeling incredibly lonely, like I did not matter to anyone. When my mother married again, my life was turned upside down. My stepfather was cruel to me and used to beat me often, and many nights, I went to bed hungry.
My life turned upside down when my grandmother passed on. She was my comforter, the only person I could talk to and rely on. Her death left me completely shattered. I could not understand why God allowed me to go through that and I resented Him for it.