I was unemployed and had lost a lot money due to my gambling addiction. I constantly lived in fear of encountering law enforcement officers. I attempted various methods to improve my situation, seeking help in different places, but nothing seemed to work.
The weight of my circumstances pushed me to contemplate suicide as the only way out. Believing death would put an end to my suffering, I locked myself in a bathroom, consumed pills, and hoped to fade away. However, my sister discovered my attempt and rushed to save me, giving me milk to neutralise the pills.
Growing up, my sister was always negative towards me and that affected me. I struggled with low self-esteem and I felt empty inside. I did not believe in myself and I wanted people to validate everything that I did.
I had two children to care for, but my illness made it extremely challenging. The burden became so overwhelming that I even contemplated ending my own life. However, the thought of leaving my children alone and unsupported prevented me from taking such a drastic step.
We got married and everything was going well until my husband became abusive. He did not love and care for me. He often told me that I was useless. He once kicked me and beat me so badly that I did no see a way out of my abusive marriage. I wanted to get drunk and throw myself in front of a moving car.