I blamed and resented myself

Growing up, Sonto felt empty and was always angry. She drank alcohol and smoked cigarettes to fill the void she felt inside. She always wanted to be intoxicated because she thought there was no reason to be sober. Her situation worsened after she became a victim of sexual assault.

 

“I did not know who to turn to. I wanted to report the matter to the police but I did not have the courage because I thought I would be judged since I went with those men voluntarily. I blamed and resented myself for what had happened. When I got home, I could not say anything to anyone. I had so much fear. Once, I had a nose bleed and felt a sharp pain on my chest. When I went to the doctor, I was diagnosed with heart palpitations. It was so severe that I could not breathe well and had to live on medication. 

Members of the Universal Church often invited me to attend the services in the church.  Although I rejected their invitation, they persevered. I eventually decided to go to church because I wanted to see a difference in my life. I participated in the chains of prayers for the transformation of my life and gradually my life improved. 

I decided to let go of the pain and hatred that I harboured. I forgave myself  and my perpetrator for the sexual assault. I got baptised in water to start afresh in the presence of God. I participated in the 21-day Fast of Daniel because I wanted to receive the Holy Spirit. I abstained from any form of entertainment so that I could focus on seeking the presence of God and I read the Bible and books of the church. I prepared myself to receive the Holy Spirit. One Sunday, I told God that I needed His Spirit and I could no longer live without Him. I had the assurance that He was with me. The void I felt was filled with the presence of God. I had inexplicable peace inside of me.

 

Since then, I found pleasure in talking to others about God and how He can change their lives. I am a happy person and my health was restored. I am no longer addicted to alcohol and cigarettes. I no longer need anyone’s approval because God approved of me,” said Sonto.