Empty and overwhelmed with sorrow

Nosipho believed that attending church services was like being imprisoned, not realising that true imprisonment was being distant from God. She was already attending services in the Universal Church, but the church environment felt restrictive for her because she saw her friends seemingly enjoying their carefree lives and she longed for that freedom.

“I used to go to the church with my mother, and she insisted that I attend services every Sunday. I did not feel the need to be part of the church and thought it was not for me. I yearned for freedom, to experience life out there. I wanted to have reckless fun without being reprimanded, and to make my own choices. Despite my mother’s warnings that there was nothing worthwhile out there, I chose to ignore her advice.

 

Initially, life was exciting. I partied all night, drank and smoked with friends. At first, it was enjoyable and gave me the freedom and happiness I longed for. However,  when all the noise died down, I felt empty and nothing I did filled the emptiness I had inside. Sometimes, I was so drunk that I would find myself sleeping on the floor in dirty clothes. I felt empty and overwhelmed with sorrow, which made me remember my mother’s words about there being nothing meaningful out there. 

 

Things took a drastic turn when my cousin and I went to a late-night party and a terrible incident happened.  A man started assaulting me and attempted to rape me. I felt helpless and had no one to rescue me. Although he did not succeed, in that moment, I realised how far I was from God. I was filled with sadness and regret and asked myself why I had left the presence of God.

 

I cried and prayed to God. I asked Him to release me from my situation. I decided to return to the church even though it was difficult. I spoke with an assistant who advised me to surrender my life to God. I learnt that, for me to experience a complete transformation, I needed the Holy Spirit. 

 

I participated in a fast from entertainment because I wanted to focus on God alone. I gave up my bad habits. I stopped partying, drinking and smoking. I committed my life completely to God and I received the assurance that He was with me. Then I no longer felt empty, sad or sorrowful. I felt complete,” she said.

Today, Nosipho’s life has changed completely. She has a good job and is married to a loving man. Her life is complete with God, and she now has the strength to handle any challenges that come her way because she knows God is with her. She found true freedom and fulfilment in the presence of God.