13 March 2018
0

Enslaved by porn

Growing up in an abusive home where she and her mother were physically and verbally abused by her father pushed Agnes into watching pornography in order to avoid her family problems. She also found pleasure in self- touching and sleeping around.

"Watching helplessly while my mother was brutally beaten by my father caused me pain. My father also said hurtful things to me. His abusive behaviour made me lose respect for him," she said.

A friend she normally shared her family problems with advised Agnes to start exploring her body.

"She told me that touching myself was going to give me so much pleasure that I could manage to ignore my family problems. From playing with my body, I developed an interest in watching pornography. The more I watched pornographic material, the more I wanted to do what I saw in the movies. That's when I started dating many men and sleeping with them. I had up to three boyfriends at any given time and gained financial benefits from them," she said.

In 2006, Agnes was invited to the Universal Church by someone who was evangelising in her area.

"I attended the service because I had nothing to do on that Sunday. The pastor spoke about giving up your old sinful nature in order to allow God to take control of your life and how He could give us what we needed. That was when I thought about how I had used men in order to get money and fleeting pleasures from them. I asked God to guide my steps so I could change the way I lived my life, because I had grown tired of it all.  I understood how watching pornography and playing with my body were corrupting my mind and body.

I slowly pulled away from those habits until I was completely free, after being in the church for six months. As I continued attending services, I learned the importance of respecting my father and praying for him, instead of disrespecting and loathing him. My attitude towards him changed and there was peace at home. My father stopped being abusive and started treating us well. I ended all my relationships with men because I understood that my body was a temple of God that needed to be respected. I have a strong relationship with God and He directs my steps. I’m now studying towards an honours degree in social work," said Agnes

 

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