16 October 2017

Dating many men boosted my confidence

When she was doing grade 11, Suzan believed she led a boring life compared to her friends who went out partying and had nice hairstyles.

Her strict parents did not allow her to go out with her friends or give her money to have fancy hairstyles.

"I never had pocket money for school and I always carried a lunch box while my friends had money. Spending most of my time at home when I was not at school turned me into a shy girl who had no confidence in herself. I hated my parents and thought they did not want me to enjoy my life," she said.

Her lack of confidence caused Suzan to underperform at school. She was promoted to grade 12 despite performing below the required pass mark. It was not easy for her to share her teenage challenges with her mother who was unapproachable. In the year she did grade 12, Suzan made friends with a group of girls who were well known in her school for all the wrong reasons.

"We drank alcohol and went to parties. I told my parents I was going to a study group while I went partying with my new friends. I dated many men because being approached by a guy boosted my confidence. The attention they gave me made me feel good about myself," she said. 

In 2011, Suzan was invited to the Universal Church by one of her classmates.

"I honoured the invitation because I knew I lived a lie as my parents did not know about my other life of alcohol and dating many men. I joined the Youth Power Group where I understood the importance of putting value on myself as a young woman.

"I realised that I needed God's guidance in order to lead a joyful life. I dedicated myself to the activities of the church and invested in building my relationship with God. I stopped drinking and going to parties. I also stopped dating because I did not need men's approval any more. I stopped lying to my parents about my whereabouts. I focused on my studies and passed my matric with good marks. I then furthered my studies and obtained a degree in human resource management. I’m currently doing my honours in business management. My journey with God gave me the fulfilment and joy I needed as a young girl," said Suzan.

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