19 September 2018
0

I wanted him dead

Only after he started applying the word of God in his life was Lawrence able to forgive his father who neglected him after his mother passed away.

His mother passed on when Lawrence was seven years old.

"My uncle took me and my little brother under his care. That however was not a solution because he drank like my father. My father did not provide for us financially and he dated many women. I developed anger and bitterness towards him and always wished my mother was still alive. I battled with everything from clothes to basic school necessities. I envied other young boys who had parents because they dressed smartly," said Lawrence.

His financial difficulties discouraged Lawrence from continuing with his studies. He eventually dropped out when he was doing grade 10. His father fell ill and Lawrence had to care for him at the age of 18.

"He was bedridden at the time. I had to cook, bathe him and feed him. My anger worsened as I always thought he did not deserve the care I gave him because he had never been there for me. I sometimes thought of ways to finish him off while he was on his death bed, but I never had courage to kill him. I took care of him for over three months before he passed on. His passing haunted me even more because I was left with anger and bitterness towards him. I blamed him for the fact that I dropped out of school and I was not working," he said.

Lawrence continued living in his father's house while his younger brother lived with a relative. He was invited to the church in 2014.

"I attended the services because I needed a job in order to provide for myself. At a service I learnt the importance of forgiveness and how it was going to set me free from anger and bitterness. I attended services on Wednesdays and my spiritual life developed. I understood that the only person I needed for my life to change was God. That made it easy for me to forgive my father and let go of the grudges I had towards him," he said.

He found a job as a machine operator in October 2014. He dated Cebelihle in 2015 and they married this year in the church.

"God healed me from anger and bitterness. I now have a family of my own, something I did not have as a child," he said.

 

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