23 May 2018

Rebuilding broken trust

It was hard for Collance to regain his family's trust after he was caught smoking dagga with his friends when he had lied about going for a job interview.

He started smoking dagga after he completed matric. He found a part-time job which didn't last long because he went to work high on dagga and was fired. In order to feed his addiction, Collance lied to his parents that he had a job interview to attend and asked for transport money that he used to buy dagga.

"On that day my parents gave me money because I told them I had a job interview to go to. I bought dagga and my friends came over to smoke with me because I was alone. To my surprise, my brother, who was supposed to be at work, came home and found us smoking. He told my parents everything.

My parents were disappointed in me and stopped giving me money from that day. They told me they no longer trusted me. I found other part-time jobs but I continued losing them because I went to work high,” he said.

"My addiction also affected my neighbours as I played music very loudly at night and they could not sleep. One evening I overheard my neighbour calling the police to report my bad behaviour. I quickly switched off the music and pretended to be sleeping. The police could not arrest me when they got there because there was no evidence to support my neighbour's complaint.

That incident made me realise that my family and neighbours were tired of my bad behaviour. I decided to start attending church services with the mother of my child at the Universal Church," he said.

He was encouraged to attend the Addiction Cleansing Therapy where he learnt that it was possible to live an addiction-free life.

"My family did not trust me anymore and my neighbours thought of me as a disrespectful boy. I started applying the word of God in my life and within six months I was cleared of my addiction," said Collance.

He understood the importance of building a relationship with God.

"Having a strong relationship with God made me understand the importance of having a good relationship with my family and my neighbours. I apologised to my parents for using their money to buy dagga and to my neighbours for being a troublesome person. I sometimes did ironing for my mother and cleaned the house so she could see that I was serious about changing my life and that I appreciated her. As I continued living to please God with my life, my family started to trust me again," he said.

After two years in the church, Collance found a permanent job for the first time in his life. He saved money and he was able to marry Nomasonto, the mother of his child after they dated for five years.

"I am a responsible family man because I put God first in everything I do.  I am now trustworthy and live peaceably with everybody around me," he said.

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