I almost killed my brother with a knife
The abuse of alcohol left Mandisa feeling unloved by his mother and once he nearly killed his brother in order to get his mother's attention.
His bad behaviour started when he was 13 years old. He drank alcohol, went to parties and disrespected his mother. When his mother disciplined him, he thought that she did not love him.
"I came home drunk, late at night, every weekend. I answered back to my mother and refused to be corrected. Some weekends I would sleep at my friend’s place and only go home on Sunday morning. My mother was always angry with me because I was the only child who disrespected her,"said Mandisa
His marks dropped at school because he did not do his homework, drank alcohol during school hours and bunked classes. This caused him to fail grade nine.
His lack of discipline caused strife between Mandisa and his siblings because he felt that his mother loved them more than him. He recalls one day when he nearly stabbed his brother with a knife. "I came home drunk late at night and found my brother praying in his room. I took a knife and went to his room. I wanted to kill him because I felt he was hoarding all my mother's love and getting rid of him was the only way she would love me. My sister saw what I was about to do, jumped up and pushed me away. I fell down on the floor because I was drunk and powerless,"said Mandisa. The following day when Mandisa was sober, he realised how he had nearly killed his brother and regretted his bad behaviour.
"I swallowed my pride and asked my brother to forgive me. I was surprised by the way he handled the whole thing. He was not angry at me, he was forgiving and he invited me to attend services with him at the Universal Church so I could change my bad behaviour. I attended Friday services and asked God to help me beat the addiction, and get rid of the dark thoughts that plagued my mind," said Mandisa.
It was after he joined the youth group of the church that Mandisa started seeing changes in his life. "I stopped going out with friends who drank. After a year in the church, I was a changed young man. I had stopped drinking, took my studies seriously and worked to improve my school marks. The hard work paid off because last year I passed my matric. I get along with my siblings and enjoy spending my weekends at home with my family. I understood that my mother loved me and I now give her the respect that is due to her as my parent," said Mandisa.